i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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