i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
