I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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