"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Too much gin, very little bucket
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
