I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
4 words: hood of his car
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
