Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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