hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize