Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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