Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
