Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
