That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
