You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
