ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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