Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
