Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
