your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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