the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
