did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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