Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
