A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We have started to decorate penises.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
