i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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