i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize