I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
