Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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