im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
