just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
