So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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