Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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