so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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