This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
