u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
