I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
