so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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