When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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