The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
