You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
