Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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