The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
