Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
