me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I forget how to act sober
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