i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
