i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
