he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
