I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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