But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
