i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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