Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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