she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she smelled like a LAN party
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
