I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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