So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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