I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
