As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
