Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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