do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
