She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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