if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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