Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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