What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
