Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
